So I have this roommate, whom I have named Shay for the purposes of this blog. (This is not actually close to her real name at all, but for some reason it is part of her email address. So, as Shay she shall be known.) If there is one thing you need to know about Shay before I tell you this story it is this: she is a laugher. She laughs at absolutely everything, even if it might not be funny, and her laugh is contagious to the point where you end up crying from guffawing about something that you honestly don’t recall. That being established, it is time to introduce the boy who is so desperately pursuing her. We’ll name him Terence.
It isn’t that Terence isn’t a good kid. In fact, when he’s not being annoying on purpose he is actually quite funny. He is just so, so, so in need of love is all. He met Shay because his roommate is in a relationship with our roommate (so typical, I know…). And the night we met this poor soul he tried holding hands with two of us. Am I putting Terence into perspective now? Anyway, Shay is just way too nice to tell poor Terence, “Hit the road, Bucky!” It isn’t that she’s purposely leading him on, he just doesn’t know when to stop. And part of it is because when they first met he decided to ‘show her this one video’ on Youtube which talked about why guys and girls can’t actually ever be friends….right as Shay was thinking, “Oh, I think we could be friends.” And now we come to the point of all of this.
So one night Shay and Terence are watching a movie. Knowing Shay and the agony this whole thing has caused her, they were not alone. (No, I was not present for this. Though the heavens know I laughed extremely hard when I heard the tale.) In the midst of this movie, Terence made his move. And oh, it was destined for failure. Instead of offering his hand for her to hold or something sensible of that nature, he begins stroking her hand. Seriously, no joke. Stroking her hand. If I’d been narrating this event I would’ve had Shay saying something like, “Oh, thanks but I’m not a cat!” If this had been a mutual thing, it’s cute and sappy and blah blah blah everything you’ve ever heard before. But in Shay’s words, “I froze and just sat there thinking, ‘Oh, heck no!'” So what did her instincts guide her into doing? What, do you ask?
She laughed! And not just any laugh. She snorted! At which point poor Terence jerked his hand away and began watching this movie with complete attention. What could possibly be worse for poor Terence? I mean, a laugh is one thing, for it is Shay after all. But a snort laugh is an entirely different matter to begin with. A snort laugh clearly states your attitude in such a situation. A snort laugh clearly indicated, “Hit the road, Bucky!” And the story doesn’t even end there, because Terence still keeps coming back! If there is one thing I’ll say about him, it’s that he is a pretty determined fellow.