Why, hello there! How do you do? Yes, it’s me! I have returned! I know, it’s completely ridiculous. The fact that I attempted to post daily, and then Thanksgiving came upon my world and it was, Oh! I haven’t posted in a week! Oops! But according to my stats, some of you have been sticking around. I thank you for that. It shows that some people still have hope in those who are lost.
And since it has been a week since I have posted (and probably longer since I posted anything very ground breaking) I’ve been vastly over analyzing what I might be able to say in order to justify this break I’ve given myself. And surprisingly enough, it actually didn’t take that much over analyzing. You see, my problem is that I’ve got gobs and gobs I could actually post about. But when it comes to having a point to a post, well, that is a lot harder to come up with.
Okay, I suppose I’ll stop rambling now. So whenever I go home and visit my family, I feel like it is always a sort of checkpoint. My university is about three hours away from home, so it really isn’t that far. Just far enough that I can’t go home all the time. But close enough that I end up going home whenever I can. I suppose that is what comes when you’ve got so many nieces and nephews to try and keep track of. A weekend is never long enough to see everybody and take a few minutes to relax. For this reason, I usually end up extending my weekends whenever I can. I get ahead in my classes, over study and over prepare so that if I should end up missing class it isn’t too detrimental. And as fate would have it, that is what has happened to me this weekend. I came home for the Thanksgiving holiday, and am currently still at home and will be heading back this morning. Anyway, this set of circumstances has caused me to reflect on this act of coming home. As I said, I always feel like my visits home are a sort of checkpoint. I go back to school and journey for a while and then come home to a checkpoint and then do it all over again. And because I find myself in this particular situation, I always find myself thinking, “If only I had known what I know now the last time I went back to school.”
I always feel changed when I return from being at home, like I am slowly becoming a different person. Strange, right? (And dramatic, too, I know, but we’ll just assume that with everything that occurs in my existence.) I think the reason that this is is because when you are in different places, different parts and pieces of your personality are called forth and used. So that depending upon where you are or who you find yourself with, you might be different not because you are ‘two-faced’ or anything negative of that nature, but because you use different things about yourself in different situations. So I love coming home because I always feel like it sort of returns me to myself. I get back on my center. So, since I find that somehow I’ve ended up here at home for a week, this ‘returning to my center’ process almost makes me feel like my whole world is different. I’m feeling differently, I’m thinking differently. And I have absolutely no desire to return to the way I was feeling or thinking before. I want to keep this different feeling and let it spread to every part of my life, not just the one that I live here.