I think it is safe to assume that we all have one object in this world that we’ve had a life-long feud with. For some people it might be a certain article of clothing or a hair brush or something practical like that. But not me. Of course I have to be the one person on this earth who has a feud with something so random and unexciting. Yes, you guessed it. Probably because you read the title of this post, you clever thing. But it’s tomato sauce.
It’s not that I don’t like the taste of tomato sauce. In fact, I think tomato sauce is a wonderful and delicious invention. It is rather the finding of tomato sauce that I have a feud with. I don’t know what it is, but ever since I can remember every time I went to the pantry or went into the grocery store to find tomato sauce I can NEVER find it. It is that one item that no matter what, rain or shine, 6 years old or college student, I can NEVER locate. Ever. Not to save my life. Probably not even to save this world, I’m sorry to say. So I’m just warning you, Reader, that if the fate of this world ever depends upon me locating tomato sauce, you’re going to die. Let me apologize just in case that inconvenient circumstance should ever befall mankind.
I hate you. And the minute I find you, I’m going to tell you so.