This has been the thought process in my mind for the past week or so. You know, those weeks you have where everything that could possibly go wrong did. A stressful, stressful week. It has been that. It seems like ever since I made that life-changing decision I mentioned a few weeks ago, things have started spiraling out of my control. Things have been going crazy, and my stress levels have been through the roof. And when I am in stressful situations like that, I usually make myself even more stressed because I’m a worrier and I worry about absolutely EVERYTHING. I start worrying about things that I didn’t know I was worried about, I start over-analyzing everything and imagining the mile long list of things I need to do and things I need to take care of and before you know it I am one giant beautiful mess.
And so today, I skipped two classes. I did. Last night my roommate and I scooted the couch over to the window, turned all the lights in the house off and sat there looking outside at a beautiful snowstorm. For a moment in time, I felt really peaceful. Yesterday was probably the the climax of my stressful week, and it was good to sit and drink hot chocolate with her. Because if there is one thing she’s taught me it’s to just keep calm about things that you can’t control. So I decided to take a day and just calm down. I slept in, well considering the fact that we went to bed late it kind of makes up for it, I ate cereal and a raspberry muffin, and I called my sister to tell her happy birthday. I spent about five minutes on homework, and continued to calm myself down.
Because here is something I’m having a really hard time learning: sometimes, you just have to be still. You cannot control everything, and worrying about all the details makes it worse. You’ll end up a lot better if you learn from something and move on, not constantly dwell on it. And when it gets really bad, just stop. Stop. Breathe. Very slowly. Inhale. Exhale. One minute at a time. It will all be okay. You’re doing your best. Just breathe.