I'm Just Saying

On Decisions And Beautiful Messes

clockTonight, let’s have a conversation. Or this morning, or this afternoon. Wherever you find yourself on the clock face, take this moment to have a conversation with me. I’m going to ask you to enter into this conversation with an open mind, and perhaps more importantly, an open heart. In fact, I’d prefer it if you always came onto my blog in this state, but I’ll take just this moment for now.

I want to present an idea that has been rolling around in my brain for several months. I’ve researched this idea, I’ve tried this idea. And in the past several weeks/days, I’ve had many interesting experiences that have led me back to this idea:

Life is not hard. 

“Life” is defined as: the state of existence, what distinguishes organisms from dead and living, the period of existence, etc.

“Living” is defined as: having life, in existence or use, active or thriving, vigorous and strong, burning or glowing.

You may take a moment to review those definitions if you wish, but nowhere in them do I find any requirement that life has to be hard or that it is hard.have joy

I recently had an experience where I was telling somebody about a really amazing experience I had had. A completely perfect moment when I felt so much joy. I was not only shocked, but truly saddened, to hear that this person had never had such a moment. Had never experienced joy that was soul deep.

I recently heard about another experience from somebody, and again felt truly sad for them. They defined life as a series of parties, drinking and smoking, running around with no purpose or direction. They seemed to think that this was life, and it was beautiful.

I also have recently seen so many quotes, articles, posts, etc. about how life is “messy but beautiful”, “twisted”, “sticky”, how we as humans are “beautiful messes” or “glorious train wrecks”. It’s all trendy and inspirational or something, and really it’s just driving me crazy!

To say this as kindly and clearly as possible: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??????

Here is what I think is really going on. I think that out of fear of actually finding happiness, we go in search for it. In fear of finding answers we look in all the wrong places. In fear of having what we desire and feeling guilty we decide “that’s life” or “life is hard”. We are human beings with brains. We created medicine and telephones. Why then, are we so afraid to face ourselves?

decisionI think most of this happens on a level that we don’t really register. When you think about this idea at first it sounds ridiculous. I mean, really! Who doesn’t want to be happy, right? But think again, think harder. Apply this to your life. The truth is that many people would much rather be comfortable than happy.

I mean, goodness, what would we DO if we were happy? We would have no badges of “I suffer from…” or “This is wrong in my life…” or whatever it is that we decide makes our life hard.

Because as much as we don’t want to look at it this way, I honestly believe that we make our lives much harder than they have to be.  Think of it this way:

You can decide what to wear, what to eat. You decide what music you love, what weather you like, what sport is your favorite, and who you’d like to spend your time with. Why then, could you not decide what your life is like?

If you decide your life is hard, then guess what? Your life is going to be hard. You made that decision.

Of course none of us want this kind of responsibility. That is crazy talk! We can’t actually be responsible for what happens to us can we? Well…yes.

We make decisions every single day, and every single decision has a consequence whether good or bad. If you have made the decision that you’ve never felt or never will feel soul- deep joy then you probably won’t. If you’ve decided that life is parties and drinking then that’s probably what your life is. And if you’ve decided that you are a beautiful mess (which, by the way, is an oxymoron), then you’re probably a mess that looks pretty sometimes.

I will be the first to admit that this idea is hard to take in at first. It well mindrequires an entire flip in the way we look at ourselves and look at life. And it isn’t always the easiest thing to just decide that life is great and move on.

First of all because changing can be hard, especially when it comes to thought patterns. But as I’ve made steps to change my thinking I have witnessed the most amazing miracles in my life. It takes a lot of work and a lot of thinking, a lot of delving deeply into what you truly and honestly believe about yourself and life and changing it to something amazing. But guess what?

It works. 

Life does not have to be hard. We do not have to be miserable. We do not have to stumble. It takes a lot of bravery to think this way, but also it is really liberating. All the life cages we create suddenly disappear.

It’s actually pretty easy.

 

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