As you may or may not have noticed, poetry has been a really big thing for me lately. I find poetry really interesting, because I think that in many ways it explains everything we attempt to explain with novels or essays or speeches. Poetry expresses the deepest things in the simplest way, and I really love that about it.
But I go through phases with poetry.
As with the last week or so, sometimes I can sit down and write a poem in about 20 minutes that comes directly from my soul. Everything I’ve been thinking or feeling just comes pouring out of me and all of the sudden I’ve got a poem. Other times I sit down, wanting to write a poem, and stare at a blank screen or piece of paper for what feels like hours and nothing is ever accomplished.
I’ve said it before on this blog and I’ll say it again, I am first and foremost a novelist, which is why my poetry isn’t often featured. However, I enjoy writing poetry so much for the above mentioned reasons. I find it fascinating how you can communicate so much in so few words.
I think that is probably why I love writing in general.
For me, it is such a process of discovery. I learn so much about myself, about life, and about others when I let things go and sit down and create other stories. It has always been wonderful to me how much I can learn from studying the lives of others, from trying to make sense of the little things.
For some reason, I sense a bit of change ahead for me. The paradox I constantly live with in my life is that routine absolutely drives me crazy, and yet change has always been hard. Don’t ask me how that works, because I honestly have no idea. I have this thing I do where I find something and then I hold onto it for dear life, hoping it won’t slip away. But I’ve realized recently that this probably isn’t the best way to go about life. I have realized that what is meant to stay will stay, and if I let go of something and it is meant to be it will come back.
In short, I think I need to work on trusting the process of life. Yesterday I got to speak with my brother, who lives quite a ways away from our family, and it was so great. I don’t get to see him often, or talk to him for that matter, and it was so good to be able to talk with him. When we were younger he and I were absolutely inseparable. Because of things that happened as we got older, just life I suppose, I feel as though it has been years since I’ve really seen him. Since I’ve really talked to him.
And as hard as that time as been, it has been worth it. Talking to him yesterday was like drinking a glass of water on a hot day. I felt comforted about a lot of things, and hopeful about life. At the end of our conversation he said to me, “I believe that things happen the way they are supposed to, and everything happens for a reason.”
I believe that, too.
So for me, it is more of being patient and letting life do what it is going to do. To work hard, have fun, laugh a lot, love a lot, and have faith. Trust.