The Post I Have To Write

Well, here we are. At the end of 2017. And those of you who are avid blog readers have already read a thousand posts like this one. You know, the “This-Has-Been-My-Year-And-Everything-I’ve-Learned-And-This-Is-How-Awesome-Life-Is-Going-To-Be-Because-I’ve-Been-Through-Hell-But-Look-How-Much-Stronger-I-Am-And-Please-Be-Inspired-By-My-Story-Here’s-Every-Good-Thing-You’ve-Ever-Needed-To-Read-Sunshine-Rainbows-Smiles” post.

eyesI’ve been thinking a lot about my blog recently and in particular this post. As a blogger, I kind of feel obligated to post something about the changing year. But honestly, as I’ve rewritten this post about 53 times in my head, it was vastly different every time. Some were long rants about specific things, others were lists of rants about specific things.

You see when I blog I just have to hope that if I pour my soul out there somebody will read it and it might actually do something. They might say, “Hey, what I read on that blog. That was good.” And maybe some small part of their life will change or they’ll think differently or do differently. Maybe that’s too much to hope for, but it’s what I hope for when I blog.

I’ll be the first to admit that my blog hasn’t been it’s finest lately. After four years of blogging on this same blog, believe me, I understand it’s not going to be chart-topping all the time. And I’m okay with that. When I began this blog I did it to enhance my writing skills, and if any of you have been around that long (which some of you have) you’ll agree with me when I say that my writing has indeed gotten much better. I’ve considered a lot of things when it comes to my blog: waving goodbye to blogging in general, creating an entirely different blog and starting over, taking a hiatus from this blog for a while. None of which I’m going to end up doing. This is just my blog and one aspect of my writing personality is that I’m a blogger. And that’s the way it is.

So. The changing year.

Oh, what do I say about 2017? If you’d have asked me that a few days ago, or even yesterday, I’d have had a whole lot to say about 2017. None of it good, all of it very angry and bitter. But as often happens in my life, I had a pretty intense conversation with God last night. And as only He can do, He pulled it all back together and set me back on the path He wanted for me.

One thing I will say about 2017 is that it began with me taking charge of my life. I was certain it was going to be my year. I wasn’t going to waste time on things that weren’t working out, I wasn’t going to wait around for anything to happen anymore. I made loads of plans for my future, and I decided it was my time to shine.

God had other plans, of course, as He often does. All of my carefully laid plans god is goddisintegrated pretty quickly when God followed through on some incredible promises. It was, in fact, my time to shine, but in a very different way than I’d planned for myself. It’s interesting how that is often the case with God.

There was one moment, in particular, this last year that I will never forget as long as I live. In fact, there were many, but I’ll just stick to this one because it was quite powerful. I was in a very beautiful moment, the kind where you’re about to burst because everything is so perfect that you wonder how God could be THAT awesome. And I remember a very soft voice in my head saying to me, “This is so right. But it isn’t going to happen the way that you think it is.”

To be honest, I ignored that voice in the moment, and to be more honest I kind of forgot about it as time passed and darkness fell.

But as I think back on this now, I realize that this statement doesn’t necessarily only apply to that one thing in my life. I think it applies to everything God puts in our life. It can be a little frustrating when God gives us a clear answer but then the way forward is hard and rocky. It is hard when we know something is right but we have to take a different route to get there. I’ve had that experience a few times, one, in particular, was with my schooling. And there are other examples, too. It’s hard, but often times when we’re given an answer from God, we are given the answer and then told to trust Him. Almost as if He’s saying, “This is what I need you to do, so go for it. But the way forward may be different than what you’re thinking so I just need you to trust me.”

That’s a powerful life lesson right there. I’m not sure why trusting God can be so hard, but I think it’s something many of us struggle with.

soul recognitionAnother thing I’ve learned is that life is different for everybody. In the continued spirit of honesty, I’ll just go ahead and say that this all began on Pinterest. My Pinterest feed is usually a great place, I mean with One Direction all over it I’m at least 15 again and it’s incredible, but Pinterest has been doing this thing recently that’s got me all worked up. It all started when I pinned one quote about love to my board which inspires my latest novel. I had to pin it because it accurately portrays the relationship between my main characters on a level that killed me. It simply had to be pinned.

Well, Pinterest being the let-me-show-you-all-the-things-based-on-this-one-tiny-thing-you-looked-at site that it is, there were about 7,324 pins about love blasted all over my newsfeed for the next 100 years. I read quite a few of them before I felt my blood begin to absolutely boil. In fact, if I had read one more “real love is this” or “real love is supposed to be this way” quote I would’ve committed unspeakable acts against humanity.

And it made me realize something.

Life, love, or whatever you wish to apply this to, is different for everybody. And my version of “real” love is going to be different than your version of real love. True love is different across countries and cultures and what you view as a soulmate completely depends on you. (Now that I’m writing all this out maybe I should just write an open letter to Pinterest or something and call it good.) Anyway, the bottom line is that it’s all different for everybody. That’s why having a personal relationship with God is so important: so that you can do what is best for you personally. Regardless of what any person or site says is the right way to feel, think, or act. star

You know those moments when you’re looking at the ocean or the sky at night? When you look up at the blue-black and see all of those billions of crystal stars and it just takes your breath away? Those moments when, for just a split second, you are faced with the vastness of the world. Whoever or whatever comes into your mind in that moment is where your heart belongs.

I’m not sure what the new year holds. To be honest, I’m not even sure about the next week, but that’s okay. It’s a new year with new beginnings, but I’m still me. And God is still God. There are some things that never change.

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9 Things You [Probably] Didn’t Know About Call Me Incorrigible

Am I the only one who put…months of thought into creating a blog? I kept going over and over in my mind what I would blog about and what sort of blog it would be, if it would be anonymous or not, what I would call it, and a whole host of other things.

All that being said, this is a post that I’ve wanted to write for quite a while now! I find it funny how, when you start blogging, all of these things go into it that nobody knows or would even think about. And then, nearly two years after you started your blog, you start thinking about all of it and have to smile. So many of these things I had even forgotten about! So I thought that I would share them with you!

  1. The title of Call Me Incorrigible was born from my absolute love of Frank Sinatra. I was sitting in my kitchen brainstorming titles (trying not to amass a giant headache) and listening to his song “Call Me Irresponsible”. Well, about half way through the song I nearly died because I couldn’t believe that it hadn’t occurred to me before! I decided to pick another word that I thought described me and it would be perfect! And I’m so, so glad that I did that! I love my blog title and it has really worked for me!
  2. Originally, as many of you know, the subtitle of my blog was “Chronicles Of A Hopeless Lover Of The Written Word”, which I really loved. However, subtitles work best if you…actually do the things that they say. So, although books and words are basically my life, I didn’t write about them very often, oddly enough. So, in keeping with my blog title and the story behind it, I recently changed the subtitle to “Rainbows, I’m Inclined To Pursue.” I’m very happy with it!
  3. I’ve thought for a long time about not having this blog be anonymous. About actually telling you what my real name is and showing a picture of me and everything. And to be honest, I’ve actually done that. I put up a post with my name and picture and everything…and then got scared and took it down. Lame….I know.
  4. I’m really, really bad at categorizing my posts. I have categories, but I’m so terrible at using them! I don’t really use them with the blogs of other bloggers I follow, so I kind of forget that they exist and then don’t use them for my own posts. I should probably get better at that. Categories are important.
  5. I have this dream of one day getting a comment from a reader asking me to post about something special. I think that in order for that to happen, my commentaries about life would actually have to go somewhere. (Although I will say, that in general, since serving my mission I’ve changed a lot. So a lot of things that I posted about before or wondered about before that never went anywhere don’t matter much anymore.)
  6. I have a fear of being Freshly Pressed! Really, I do! I don’t even really know what it is or what it means or if it even happens to real people, but it’s this weird void that scares me…
  7. Every time I publish a post I go look at it in my reader just to see what it looks like to everybody else and get this little surge of pride. I love writing!
  8. I remember the day that I gained my 11th follower and I did a little happy dance. For some reason, that number made me feel like a real blogger!
  9. Do any of you remember those days when my posts were just…horrible? And I felt so bad about it that I ended a whole bunch of them with pictures of baby animals just so that reading the post wouldn’t have been a complete waste of your time? Well, that was actually something that I saw on another blog and I laughed so hard that I decided to adopt the idea for a time when I’d need it. I’m really grateful, too, because that was a rough phase!
Frank Sinatra with one of his dogs.

The Things I Shouldn’t Do

Do you suppose that it’s necessary for me to being all of these posts acknowledging that it is the first of a new month? I mean, at this point I’m pretty sure you all know that I’m not actually here. I’m somewhere in Texas on a mission and these posts were all written in June of 2014. So every month do I have to say, “Happy this month, oh, it’s the first of the month…” I don’t think so. In fact, I should probably stop doing that. I’m sure you all know what day it is.

f3238e79fb316ebc3e157c0cc56e13e4That being said, there are probably a whole host of things I should stop doing. Like asking you how you’re doing. I mean, I genuinely care how you are all doing, but I won’t be reading your responses until December of 2015. And by then, who knows how you’ll be doing? But to be perfectly honest, if I stop doing that, then I’ll feel like a total lame-sauce blogger. You guys come onto this blog to find something interesting after all. I might as well ask you how you’re doing if you’re taking the time out of your day to read about over thinking, ambiguous life lessons, reading/writing, my family whom none of you actually know, and Frank Sinatra. Alright, decision made, I’m going to keep asking you how you are doing.

I also shouldn’t do only one post a month while I’m away. On one hand, it is great because 736ca387d100a06c15042b1492cd45e1if you like it, you might remember to stick around for the next one. On the other hand, it’s bad because a month, though not very long, is long enough for a ton of stuff to happen and then one day a post will appear in your reader entitled “The Things I Shouldn’t Do” and you’ll be sitting there thinking, “What the devil? This girl is alive? Where did this even come from? And why is she using this opportunity to inform me of the things in her life that she shouldn’t do?” ……………..okay, half of this paragraph was just one really, really big sentence and I seriously just sat here for a full minute trying to remember where I was going with it. Suffice it to say, I’m only doing one post a month for the sole purpose that even by doing that, it means that I have 18 posts to write in advance and that’s a lot of posts. So, there’s that.

I also shouldn’t use these posts to write about obscure junk. But then again, most of what I write about seems to be that. I sit down with this great idea in my head of this wonderful and inspirational and amazing post I’m going to write that’s going to get a billion likes and views because it changes everybody’s life. But then…it generally doesn’t turn out that way. But I guess that’s the whole point of writing. You strive for that classic that is just somehow your perfection. Trust me, this post isn’t it.

And now that I’ve used my monthly post for October to inform you of the things I shouldn’t do in my monthly posts and then also informing you that I’m going to continue doing them, that’s a wrap. You are all gems.

Have a great month!