I'm Just Saying · Just Writing

Space of Sky

If I lay very still, close my eyes, and breathe out everything that is crowding my head, one of two things always happens to me.

I always see myself somewhere. Every time. Sometimes I am in a green field. It is probably my favorite place to visit. It’s very beautiful there. And sometimes I see myself in a stretch of sky. Arms and legs outstretched, eyes closed. Floating.

Perhaps it is a form of meditation that causes me to go to these two places, perhaps my imagination. It could be any number of things, really. Maybe you have similar experiences, places that you go when you leave the world for a moment. And, like it is for me, maybe these places show you a bit more about yourself. And maybe they help you move forward when you come back to the world. And maybe they offer you the answers you can never seem to find elsewhere.

Whatever it is or whatever it may mean to you, to me these things that come to me are very special. They help me so much, and perhaps more than I even know.

Space of Sky

I am in a space of breathy blue and cloudy white
floating with arms and legs outstretched
filling the space my soul has already claimed
perhaps this space is the sky
but there is no box of ground and space
only me and the sky

Perhaps I fall very slowly downward
or maybe I rise
my hair ripples around me, my eyes are closed
peace and tranquility live here
it is as if every pore of my body and soul
is open to the space around me

It is the space of my higher self, I think
and such a lovely place
when it holds me in the embrace of stillness
I have no fears, and I have no doubts
every thought and feeling points to the same thing
if there are voices they whisper good things

Here in this place of soft light and sound
I am free from daily things
there exists no bubble inside of my chest
which holds all the things I do not say
no bridge of emotions instead of a diaphragm
helping me breathe forward

In this space of peaceful movement
there is no fierce longing for things unknown
there is no reckless passion
I do not ache for soil I haven’t touched
or yearn for words I haven’t found
I only am

When I come here, to my very own sky
I am empty, and also full
everything in my soul that I try to contain
spills over the edges and fills my sky
so that I am there inside myself
but also in everything around me

In this moment of my soul spilling outwards
and surrounding me
I realize that it is good
and fears are put to rest
it is as if all the bits and pieces can breathe
and my deepest self is clean

I see what I am
what I can become
I view time not in a line
but in a massive expanse of perspective
I feel the promise of eternity in my fingertips
I know where the truth lies

And for the briefest of moments
for the smallest of seconds
I am free
I am brave
I understand what I cannot
I am a soul ignited

I'm Just Saying


I think there comes a time in everybody’s life when the fog melts away. When you wake up. It’s probably not one simple moment, a single second, though it could be. For me, it’s been happening over a period of months.

And here is one of the things I’ve decided: Stop. Just….stop.

shadowsI used to think that it was a good thing to spend hours writing an obscure blog post or poem or playing around with a book idea. There are benefits to that, sure, but one thing I’ve started noticing a lot recently is that no matter how much obscurity we dabble in, we never seem to shed light.

To the world at large, age old questions still go unanswered and mysteries are still unsolved. Now, here, in this age of information and innovation, many people are STILL wondering what the purpose of life is.

I used to spend all my spare time philosophizing about vague ideas and then I’d end up nowhere, just more lost than when I started and with nothing to show for it. Answer me this, could it be possible that in the midst of “figuring things out” we actually do the exact opposite? Do we make ourselves more confused?

I keep thinking things like: stop wondering and just DO something! Stop trying to write obscure poems and inspirational blog posts and actually do what you keep talking about: be real for just a second. I’ve talked about how I want this blog to be a happy place, and I do. I want it be a very happy place, a place where I can dream and inspire and come up with real ideas. But the truth is that I can’t do that if I keep running my brain in circles about things that don’t need it.

It isn’t that I need all the answers, want all the answers, or have all the answers. It is that I only want the answers I have, and I have all the answers I need. Either already in my mind, or where I can find them.

Unlike many others, I do not think I need to know all the mysteries of the universe and have all the answers. Because, if you think about it realistically, we are only human after all. We cry when we feel pain and laugh at the simplest joke. And while our base simplicity is beautiful and natural to who we are, I don’t pretend that, even if I did know all the answers, that I would understand them. I’m not perfect. Oh, so very far from it, in fact. But I can do my best.

Life is not about finding a perfect catchphrase and living by it. I mean, can you think of a better way to dumb down your Split Rock Lighthouse on Minnesota's North Shorepotential? Life isn’t about life hacks, motivational quotes, blog posts, or Saturday night.

I think that, in the midst of this avalanche of words and ideas and opinions that we sift through and drown in, we have lost the simplicity. We have lost what it means to truly innovate, truly inspire, and truly create. It isn’t about finding every answer or solution. Because no matter how many answers or solutions we find, there will always be more to find. That’s just the way life is.

Normally, I’d write this post and send it to trash. Because it doesn’t fit my usual way of writing or doing things. But today I’m not going to do that. I’ll make this bold and edgy move where I post exactly what I’ve been thinking about, exactly as I’ve thought it.

There is a difference between walking in light, spreading it, and helping to create in than wallowing in obscurity and never making it out of the shadows. The thing is, you’ll never understand that until you leave them behind.Trust me.

Stop limiting yourself. Wake up.