I have had the urge to write a blog post for several days now, and no matter how many times I have sat in front of my computer or tried to come up with something to say it has failed. Even now I’m having quite the time. My creative juices have just been having some struggles the last few days. Which is frustrating, especially when I have this urge to write and get something out of my head and can’t seem to.
It has been a really wonderful week, though. I started the last semester of my undergraduate degree this week, and honestly, it has been really wonderful. I have so many stories of things that have happened to me this week, most of them a little outrageous. But it has been so much fun. I always thought that when I got to this point in my life I would outrageously scared and have no idea what to do next.
But I couldn’t be further from feeling that way.
I am so excited for all of the possibilities coming my way. Earlier today I discussed the possibility of going to London for a week with some of my best friends in May, and I couldn’t be more excited. I have been longing to go back since my last visit in 2016. It would be like going home. There are so many other things coming that I’m excited for as well. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of uncertainties in my life right now, too. But I’m just so excited for all of it.
Life has been so interesting lately.
I feel like I keep using that word, and in general when I use that word it doesn’t necessarily mean something good. But that’s really the only word I can use to describe it accurately. And it has been good. Life has been very, very good to me lately.
There have been some hard things. And if I’m being honest, how I’ve been dealing with those things and how I feel about them now has me SHOOK. (To use a modern slang term.)
One thing happened to me this week that I’ve been thinking about a lot. My sister-in-law Kaylee, whom I love dearly, has been really revamping her life recently. She’s made a lot of changes that I’m super proud of. She introduced to me an idea this week. The idea is that no matter what we’ve been through we are here. No matter what pain you have endured, no matter what mistakes you have made, no matter what darkness you have faced, you are here now.
It did not break you. It did not kill you. It did not win. Because you are here now.
I absolutely love this. I love this because there have been so many times in my life when I felt broken to a degree that it seemed I couldn’t possibly ever be whole again. We all have moments like this. But no matter how many times you have felt that way, you are still here. You are here right now.
You have not been beaten.
It is never too late to be brand new. It is never too late to start over. It is never too late to remember what you really want and to commit to chasing it. No matter what you’ve faced before. It’s absolutely incredible.
Last night as I was doing my gospel study, I decided to go with an old technique that is very tried and true for me. I’ll begin with a prayer, pour out all that I’m feeling, and then I turn to my scriptures and let them fall open. And the first thing it lands on has always, without fail, been exactly what I needed in my life.
Last night I came upon Ezekiel 22:14. It reads:
“Can thine heart endure, or can thine hands be strong, in the days that I shall deal with thee? I the Lord have spoken it, and will do it.”
I absolutely love this scripture with my whole heart. It was everything I needed and more. One thing I love about this technique is that I often don’t know the context surrounding the verses I come upon. Sometimes I’ll read on and the context will help me even more, and other times it is just the one verse that makes the difference.
This time all I needed was this one verse. I love it because it reminds me that God’s timing is different than my own. His plans are different than my own. But He does not lie. Ever. Not ever. It reminds me that even when hard times come or I’m faced with a myriad of unknowns (kind of like now) that the Lord is always with me. He has a perfect plan for my life that I have always done my best to follow, and I always will.
This verse was incredible because it acknowledges that waiting on the Lord isn’t always easy. Being patient is hard. Trying to understand the twists and turns of life can be confusing. But God is always constant.
The very last phrase is the most powerful to me: I the Lord have spoken it, and will do it.